“I’m scared,” she admitted, her eyes cast down on the table. “I want to obey the law, but then nonmembers won’t date me, and they make up the majority of men here in the Czech Republic. And even if I do, the fact that I haven’t in the past will make the members less likely to date me. How am I ever going to get married?”
This should not be the mind-set of a 21-year-old woman that’s going to be baptized in less than a week.
And yet it’s a legitimate concern. Just two days ago, ABC News published a story about a Mormon couple that was soon-to-be wed. When the woman told her fiance that she wasn’t a virgin (a bit late in the game, I admit), he called the wedding off.
Seriously?
Few have said it better than my friend did (by coincidence) just yesterday:
“For all you LDS MEN…ALL MEN in GENERAL!!! There is a great double standard going around. If you are not gonna marry someone because they are not a virgin, I have a few questions for you. First, are you a virgin? Second, what’s so great about blood? Do you believe in the blood of Jesus Christ and the Power of the Atonement?” he asked via Facebook. “If they are worthy, than they are PURE. VIRGINITY is a state of mind! The person you LOVE today, is that way because of the past. Enjoy the present and look forward to a wonderful eternity! Get over the past, GET OVER YOURSELF & MOVE ON! BE GRATEFUL YOU FOUND LOVE. Seriously.”
Within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a principle known as the law of chastity. We believe it is a commandment given by God to abstain from any sexual relations outside of a legal marriage between a man and a woman — everything from masturbation to sexual fantasies, intercourse to feeling each other up on the couch. The law is meant to protect those who abide by it from emotional and physical harm while bringing them closer to their Heavenly Father. The principle — as all of God’s commandments — is perfect. Its execution by us fallible humans? Not so perfect.
Which brings us back to our worried investigator.
Jesus forgives a woman taken in adultery and rebukes all those who condemned her. (Courtesy of Grace Rivers)
What I said to her I will say to you: We read that sexual sin is “most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost,” but that doesn’t make it unforgivable (Alma 39:5). The Atonement exists for a reason. No one but Christ could live a perfect life, which is why he made an eternal sacrifice. Because of him, we are able to repent for our mistakes and never have to answer for them again. Ever. Not to God, not to a bishop, not to a boyfriend. No one.
Baptism is the ultimate form of repentance. When we are baptized, we are washed clean and, therefore, receive a total remission of our sins (Mark 1:4, Acts 2:38, Acts 22:16). It is unfair to judge someone who has broken the law of chastity but undergone a full and sincere repentance — especially if that repentance involved baptism.
As my friend states earlier, virginity is a mindset. There is a stigma among Christians against people, particularly women, who have had sexual intercourse. But should this stigma exist?
By placing so much emphasis on virginity, we are doing ourselves a disservice. Firstly, we are making it impossible for those who have had intercourse and repented of it — thus receiving forgiveness from God Himself — to move on. Secondly, we are letting intercourse overshadow other sexual sins. Yes, intercourse is the ultimate sexual act, but oral sex is arguably more intimate. Who stands blameless in the sight of God: The woman who lost her virginity and repented of it? Or the woman who gave a BJ to every player on her basketball team and never asked for God’s forgiveness? If both are members of the Church with equal knowledge, I think the answer is clear.
In case you’re still scratching your head, let us look at how Christ treated those who had committed sexual sins. In John 8, when a woman is about to be persecuted for committing adultery, Christ doesn’t even look at the scribes and Pharisees when he says, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” (John 8:7). In so doing, Christ reminds us that all sins require his Atonement to be forgiven. Therefore, no one has the right to judge another, regardless of the severity of the sin. To judge someone who has lost their virginity and repented of it is the same as judging someone who has told a white lie and repented of it. (Note: That does not mean we do not have the right to avoid people who we feel will negatively affect us or continue to sin.)
Also in John, Christ teaches a woman of Samaria, also known as the woman at the well, who has also committed adultery. While Jesus does encourage her to repent, he takes the time to teach her the gospel. He finds her worthy of salvation. Those who are members of the Church know that one of the commandments is to be sealed eternally to a righteous member of the opposite sex. If he did not believe that she could be worthy enough to enter into the temple and make the sacred covenant of marriage, why would Jesus invite her to join the Church? He would not.
Note that both of the examples I used are of women that have committed adultery — the gravest of sexual sins. If they can be forgiven of God, anyone who has sexually transgressed can be forgiven of God.
To all of you Latter-day Saints with a past, do not fear. The Lord is looking out for you and, as long as you continue to walk his straight and narrow path, He will bless you. And those of you who have not transgressed in the law of chastity, remember the counsel of our Savior: “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:1–5).
Don’t stop here
There are plenty of other sources that address the issue. I will add them as I find them. Feel free to share others with us in the comments.
4/4/2013: “Sexual assault survivors open up about experiences” from The Daily Herald
5/7/2013: “Elizabeth Smart and the Psychology of the Christian Purity Culture” from Experimental Theology
5/7/2013: Unclean: Meditations on Purity, Hospitality, and Morality by Richard Beck
Great article! It’s an honor to be a part of it. YOU ARE A GREAT WRITER!
Thanks, Tupua! Glad to have your support. Would you like me to credit your Facebook status?
This is horrifying to me, that people in the church act like this.
And that, John, makes you a respectable man.
I think a man has a right to marry a virgin, given that he is one as well. I don’t believe in the born again virgin stuff, because that is just asinine. The church teaches that you should be a virgin when you get married, then you should be. If the person is a convert, well I don’t believe that those outside of the church should be having sex either outside of marriage either. There are people outside of the church, whether they be atheist or religious, that have high morals too. Why join a church if you don’t support its teaches? Either you are going to abstain from sexual relations outside of marriage or you’re not. Make a decision. Only join the church if you support all of its teachings.
I wouldn’t marry someone if they were not a virgin because that is what the church teaches.
Actually, the Church does not teach that you should marry a virgin. It does teach that people must obey the law of chastity, but it also teaches that those who do not can and will be forgiven if they repent. To think that anyone who isn’t a virgin is not welcome in the Church is elitist and immoral. I highly recommend that you speak to your bishop and, better yet, your Heavenly Father before you even think of claiming that people who have not followed any of the Church ordinances in the past do not belong. No one is perfect, and to think that all people should be even before they find the gospel is as contradictory to God’s plan of salvation as you can get. Maybe you should read the article again and refer to those scriptures. I think they’d do you some good.
the church doesn’t teach to not marry a virgin, it teaches to marry a morally clean person, which means that since the moment you decided to follow the gospel you didn’t have any sexual relations with man or woman. when you got baptized you’ve been cleansed which means all sins have been taken away from you.
I take this personal because i have been born with members and so didn’t know anything else then going to church. when i was 17 i stopped going and started a sexual relationship with a guy… when i was 18 i stopped it and decided to go back to church talked to my bishop and stakepresident and started my repentance progress, it took a while but I was found morally clean again and now i am even an endowed member leaving for her mission in 10 days.
I actually believe they DO join the church because the support all teachings, they just didn’t KNOW the teachings of the lord before they got in touch with missionaries or friends who are members. and i do believe that at the moment they are baptized they are morally clean again and great members who love the lord and do want to follow his gospel en teachings.. they just didn’t know his teachings before coming in contact with the gospel.
Thank you for your response. It’s nice to hear from someone with experience in this area, and I appreciate the courage you took to admit it on a public forum. I think you’re a great example of someone who was able to repent and then live the gospel to the fullest. I believe Heavenly Father will provide you with an amazing Latter-day Saint man to marry someday.
No problem,
I am just here to set an example to those who also made the wrong decisions in the past to not be ashamed of them.
I do not feel guilty of the decisions i’ve made, i know they were wrong and I did needed to repent from them, But if i never had made those i would be walking around in church following my parents without getting my own testimony, my wrong decisions in my teens made the worthy woman I am today with my own testimony of the gospel, with my own experiences and trials and opinions about different matters that are going around in the church. I would not be this strong today if i didn’t make those wrong decisions followed by my own choice to come back and follow the gospel when i was younger…
so I want to say to all of you out there feeling ashamed of the wrong decisions you’ve made if they were sexual or not, if you changed your way of living and decided to follow the gospel, your wrong decisions and experiences that followed from those decision made you the strong person you are today, DON’T BE ASHAMED OF IT. BE PROUD OF IT.
seriously, be proud that you had the chance to make the decision to follow christ on you own, and your not still living through your parents or other relatives testimony.
Amen, sister!
So since I wasn’t taught it was technically “wrong”, and had sex and had a daughter at age 16. Then at 19 came in contact with the missionaries through a friend, got baptized and changed my life around, I’m not worthy to be married in the temple or even be a member of this church?? I think it’s insane to judge other people when you don’t know their past, not everyone grew up in a Mormon family an was taught the teachings of the church. Some of us had parents who didn’t care what we did. I do believe in “the born again virgin” stuff, because whether you do or not, I KNOW when I get married in the temple and have my first night with my husband it will be just as special as ANY one else’s wedding night.
Glad you chose to become a member of the Church and that you’ve remained strong despite unwarranted criticism.
While I agree, ultimately it is up to the person to marry who they may. If they are judgmental they just remember that they will be judged by those same standards. What goes around comes around and I believe that I can only hold a future wife to the standards that I hold. And to that I hold dear. However (one could guess this was coming), there are too many people that preach repentance with no forethought to the actual sin involved. This is also contrary to the plan of God that we can just do what we want with no fear of any repercussions. I know of too many that are involved sexually before marriage, whether in or out of the church, and they know what they are doing is wrong. Then later they proclaim leniency, hormonal imbalances, understanding, and yes even repentance to gain a companion who has striven to keep themselves clean for their spouse (which I will include clean from everything, including other forms of sex). Too often this happens, I fear, and I am given the clear impression, these are the ones who get angry and offended over those who are only willing to marry a virgin. I wish this
weren’t so but that is what I have experienced. There are eternal consequences to everything we do even though we may have repented of something truly to where the Lord remembers it no more, we may still remember it and we may still suffer consequences long after. That’s just my two-cents after all.
I agree with a lot of what you said, Adam, and think you make an interesting point about how non-virgins are more likely to be upset over the virginity standard. My question to you is: Why do you feel that’s significant? Isn’t that true of any issue? People who are victims of racism, bullying, or any sort of injustice are always more likely to point it out than those who are not. That being said, it doesn’t make it any less of an issue. It’s just that people with first-hand experience with it are more likely to call out the problem.
As for the consequences of sins continuing after our repentance, this should only be partially true. Since we’re on the topic, let us use the law of chastity as an example. Pregnancies and STDs are two examples of unavoidable consequences of the sin. Judgment from fellow church members? Completely unnecessary and against church doctrine. If asked whether we should or should not show preference to virgins – all other things being equal – scriptures and prophets preach that we should not. And isn’t that what matters?
I think that it’s perfectly fair for a virgin to want to marry a virgin. There is something to be said for saving yourself and being exclusive to that person. When one person is a virgin and the other isn’t, there’s a feeling that there’s someone else within the relationship. It can be hard to overcome the not being the first and wondering if you’re just another notch on the bed post. It’s an unequal relationship. Better for that guy to stop the wedding than to marry her and feel inadequate or jealous or any other things he might be feeling. She wasn’t honest with him anyway and if she waited that long to tell him something that important, what other secrets is she hiding? She wasn’t being trustworthy and that is probably the bigger problem here. If she had been honest when she saw that the relationship was going somewhere he would have had a chance to deal with his feelings or move on. As it was, she whacked him upside the head and now he’s being condemned for being hurt by it. He’s better off without her, not because she isn’t a virgin, but because she can’t be trusted.
Having said that, if someone isn’t a virgin, then the expectation of marrying a virgin is completely unfair.
While I agree that there is something to be said for saving oneself, I don’t think we should punish the people who say, “Hey, I DO want to save myself for marriage. I didn’t in the past because I didn’t understand its importance, but I want to now.” They are doing exactly as Christ taught them to do. It is all about who we are as people now, not our past transgressions. Repentance means nothing if we are not forgiven.
Again, I agree that past sexual sins can strain a relationship, but only if the other person does not have a mature understanding of the Atonement. Christ redeemed all from sin – and every sin – so a person who has repented is clean. It is as if the sin never happened. They are, in God’s eyes, still virgins. But you are right: If a someone can’t handle their partners’ past, they shouldn’t be in a relationship.
I’m not sure where you get the dishonesty portion from. It’s my understanding that the man in the video was functioning under the ASSUMPTION that his fiance was a virgin. They hadn’t talked about it before the woman decided to bring it up. It’s not her fault that he had a false idea of her past, and she shouldn’t be punished for clarifying it.
I don’t think it’s a case of not having a mature understanding.
Virgins don’t have experience with sex. To them sex is this mysterious thing and it’s not something you share with just anyone. Nor is it something easily forgotten. So a virgin can have trouble with the concept of someone having sex and being able to put it in the past as if it never happened.
When a virgin marries a virgin, they don’t have to worry about it. They saved themselves for someone and the other did the same. There’s no ghosts in the background. No wondering if they measure up. No wondering who they slept with etc.
The fact that she waited so long to tell him, that she didn’t tell him before being engaged to him, is a sign that she was hiding something. This was obviously a big deal to him and it says something about him that he didn’t feel the need to question her on it. So because he didn’t ask her “are you a virgin” he’s a bad guy? That doesn’t make sense. Telling him days before the wedding was unfair. She should have told him when things were getting serious between them and given him time to deal with it or move on.
Let’s give another example. Say you got involved with someone who had a history of physical abuse. Maybe he beat his girlfriend. Maybe he raped her. And now he’s been forgiven and he’s repented. Once you found out would you be willing to continue a relationship with him?
Sure the example is extreme, but it’s based on the same premise that if they’ve repented then everyone else including a future marriage partner shouldn’t be concerned about it.
She hurt him. Why isn’t there some empathy for him? He’s not a bad guy. He just discovered that she wasn’t the girl she led him to believe. Better to find out before the marriage than after. It shows maturity on his part to know ahead of time what he wants and be willing to wait until the right girl does come along. Did he hide his past from her?
Again, the wondering if you can measure up and who they slept with are unnecessary burdens to bare. Ask any bishop or, better yet, ask Heavenly Father and He will tell you that such questions don’t need to be asked. A person who has repented of their transgressions regrets them and wants to put them in the past, and the Atonement allows them to move past those mistakes. Thus a partner does not have the right to make them accountable for what they’ve already answered for. A partner’s insecurities are their problem, a jealousy problem. That’s what needs fixing.
I agree that the woman in the video should have told her fiance much earlier about her transgressions. However, not everyone would agree. One person I heard giving a sacrament talk claimed that there is no need to bring up past sins with anyone but God and, if necessary, proper Priesthood Authority. Such logic suggests that sins are between the sinner and God, which is true. Personally, I think I’d rather know at least the general gist of my partner’s past, but the Church does not dictate that such confessions are necessary or even good.
I think your example is unfair. Someone with a history of abuse is potentially dangerous. A person who lost their virginity poses no danger. Now if the person had a past with cheating? That’s different. Sex addiction? Also different. But virginity or a lack thereof has no correlation with a person’s ability to be a good companion.
Yes, I agree with your demand for empathy for the man in the video. You are right to point out that he had something very tough to swallow right before his wedding day and he shouldn’t have been in that position. But, for the purposes of this article, I did not think that needed saying, for the focus is something else.
I’d like to address the issue of measuring up. I was converted and baptized 3 years ago. I am not a virgin and I worry about the possibility of finding someone who is still a virgin who may be okay with me not being one. To clarify: I am not expecting to marry a virgin nor am I opposed to it. My worry is about if it does happen. Things being what they are, and I possessing an experience and knowledge that they would not, would I measure up? Would he expect me to rock his world straight out of the gate? Do I hold back and let him “catch up”? Do I stay quiet when things are not as good as they could be? Or do I clue him into what would be better?
I asked one of the missionaries that taught me (long after he returned home and we built a friendship)about my concerns. He said, “You’ll be the best he’ll ever have. Don’t worry about it. As long as you are willing to talk things out with him and you both are worthy and have a good understanding of the atonement things will work out no matter his or your circumstances”. Just thought the other side of “measuring up” might be interesting to read about.
Excellent comment! I believe in your words whole-heartedly, and I would like to think that the missionary is right, too. Thanks for sharing.
The commandment in the church is to marry someone who is temple worthy, not has always been temple worthy. I want someone to get married to who is worthy enough to recognize that idea, and not someone who picks and chooses the commandments they follow. To me that would be Christ like, and I would rather marry someone who embodies the spirit of Christ.
There is a huge stigma in the church for not being a virgin while being single, even if you have repented and gone through the proper channels, or are just legitimately divorced/widowed. And maybe – just maybe – this girl was afraid that she fell in love with someone who was petty enough to leave her if she wasn’t a virgin. So she waited to tell him out of fear because she wanted to believe this guy was Christ like and would love her no matter what. Her fear was correct, hence stigma. Or even remember in the Singles Ward movie, that guy was less active because he was divorced and was afraid to talk about it. Everyone’s discussions here, is only reinforcing this thinking amongst people who cannot come back out of fear.
In the end, sex is just one small element of life. Just think of being up there with God and he points to a great person and says, “Why didn’t you marry him/her?” and you said because “They weren’t a virgin.” God would reply “So what. That person was perfect for you. And as happy as you were, you would have been more happy with that person I sent. But… I guess you weren’t humble enough.” By creating this “bias” towards non-virgins you really are limiting yourself. We talk of high ideals of forgiveness in love in the church, shouldn’t we follow through in every detail of our lives? “People are different, therefore they don’t belong with us,” – this is at the heart of what people are saying here. This is fear, and I completely understand it. However, psychology, self-help books, and even the gospel dictate to us – “Do not let fear dictate your lives.”
I love you, John Gifford.
Let me try this again.
Jesus forgives sins. He forgives them as if they never happened.
He does not take away experience or memory or consequences. Those things still exist even if the sin is gone.
What that means to a non-virgin, is that you are no longer a virgin. You can never give your first time again. That’s the consequence even if there are no other consequences.
To a virgin who has stayed a virgin because they want their first time to be with their spouse, it often means that they want the same thing in return. They want to have that special experience for the first time with someone who is also having it for the first time. This is not about forgiving sin. This is about sharing a unique experience with someone who hasn’t already been there and done that.
To a non-virgin, maybe they don’t understand the importance this might be to a virgin and then will judge them harshly, accusing them of being petty, jealous or unforgiving.
But it’s not any of those things. It’s about wanting something special just between two people, without any other ghosts around (just because you deny the ghosts doesn’t mean they don’t exist).
It also has a practical as well as an emotional consideration.
There’s no worry about a dormant STD.
There’s no concern that at sometime in the future a long lost child may show up, or a forgotten ex demanding child support.
And yes, there’s little concern that your partner might say or do things that would make you feel inadequate because they’ve got someone else to compare you to. Someone might call this petty, but emotions are very real and telling people how they should feel isn’t fair and pretty judgmental.
Again, this is not about forgiving sin. It’s about sharing something special with someone who is also sharing it for the first time. A first journey together. A first discovery.
If it weren’t important then there would be no point in keeping your virginity until marriage. You might as well sleep with whomever you want to and repent later and then blame other people and belittle others for being virgins and wanting to be with virgins.
As this debate gets a little heated, I would like to point something out: There has not been (nor should there be) any criticism of people who are virgins. The article and the comments so far suggest that virginity is a an admirable trait. No belittling of virgins is happening on this forum. If you reread your comment, I think you will see that the opposite is occurring.
Comments like, “You might as well sleep with whomever you want and repent later and then blame other people and belittle others,” are missing the point and are, frankly, nothing but fighting words. I understand you are upset. You have a right to be passionate about your opinions. However, it’s important to at least try to understand the reasoning that is taking place.
The unified opinion of those commenting is that sex before marriage is a sin. Thus “sleep(ing) with whomever you want” is not something anyone would suggest. Again, there is no “blam(ing)” or “belittl(ing)” going on around here, so I’m not sure where the accusations are coming from. Perhaps you have personal experience with the issue. Regardless, I think you should take a step back and realize what your comments are doing: You are blaming everyone who has had premarital sex for losing their virginity without taking the variety of circumstances into account. Extremes involve incest and rape. Less but still significant cases involve conversion and a downright lack of understanding of the importance of the law. Consider, for a moment, the emotions of someone who isn’t a virgin and is reading your comments.
I think you underestimate the joy of a first time with an eternal companion. And honestly, I see little reason to make firsts a priority. Do we marry our first kiss, date, love? No, not necessarily. Thus it is not necessary (just preferable) to marry the first person we had sex with. And regardless of how many people came before our eternal companion, there is still learning to be had. Sex will still be a learning experience. Remember: The primary reason we should be keeping the law of chastity is because it is a commandment from God.
Where, may I ask, does Christ say that it’s okay to judge sometimes? Where does he say it’s okay to be jealous sometimes? Where does he say it’s okay to not forgive the sins of others sometimes? I’ll save you the study time: He doesn’t. So while I understand that you do not want to have these negative emotions towards those who are not virgins, it is your duty to face them and banish them. And if you think that “isn’t fair” and that that’s “pretty judgmental,” you have to take it up with God, for those are not my opinions, but the laws as they are written in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The Church leaders do teach against sexual activity outside of marriage.
Dallin H. Oaks said in a 1995 issue of the Ensign that “Every Latter-day Saint knows that God has forbidden all sexual relations outside the bonds of marriage. Most are also aware of the Savior’s teaching that it is sinful for a man to look upon and lust after a woman (see Matt. 5:28; D&C 42:23; D&C 63:16).”
While the scriptures Elder Oaks cites do state one can be forgiven, the point is that the Church does teach against it!
D&C 63:16 “16 And verily I say unto you, as I have said before, he that alooketh on a woman to blust after her, or if any shall commit cadultery in their hearts, they shall not have the dSpirit, but shall deny the faith and shall fear.”
http://www.lds.org/ensign/1995/10/same-gender-attraction?lang=eng&query=abstaining+sexual+relations
Just to add on to my previous comment on how the Church teaches to be a virgin at marriage, here is an excerpt from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet:
“The Lord’s standard regarding sexual purity is clear and unchanging. Do not have any sexual relations before marriage”
https://www.lds.org/youth/for-the-strength-of-youth/sexual-purity?lang=eng
Yes one can be forgiven, but the Church is pretty clear on it’s standards regarding No sexual relations before marriage!
Nothing you quoted states that virginity should be a requirement of a spouse. It’s all about sexual purity, which can be achieved at any time in life.
Actually the first quote by Elder Dallin H. Oaks says that “God has forbidden all sexual relations outside of marriage.” If one does not have sexual relations outside of marriage, then that would make said person a virgin when they are married.
That being said, people do make mistakes and they can repent.
Just a question though, why are you so heated on this topic? Did you engage in pre-marriage sexual relations before you become a Mormon?
Yes, you are correct in your definition of virginity and knowledge of repentance. That was what the article aimed to articulate.
It’s hard NOT to be heated about false ideas about the Atonement. As the beginning of the post illustrated, I’ve taught a lot of women who fornicated before coming to know the gospel, and it’s difficult to watch them hesitate or refuse to join the Church based on false ideas about doctrine (i.e. repentance works for everything but sex). I also know a lot of women who have broken the law of chastity as members and overcome it but have had trouble dating since. I hate the idea of spiritual blessings being denied to people who made mistakes in the past and have done everything God requires to move past them.
Everyone has created good arguments. I have changed my mind. We should just make it easier for everyone, in fact, and have seperate seating at church. Virgins in the front (closer to God,) non-virgins in the back. We can even have separate drinking fountains. Because an STD can magically appear in a non virgin without them knowing, and transfer through the water fountain.
I am not against someone saying that they would want to only marry a virgin b/c of psychological reasons. I cannot argue that. Its the same with I am not a rascist but Im just not attracted to many african-americans, there is no correlation with rascism and attraction. The fallacy here is that people are generalizing it into NO virgin should marry a non virgin. That is a total distortion of the Elder’s teachings. If you really believe that, then you should right to the leaders of the church. I guarantee you that they will not respond with “NEVER EVER”, but with “as long as they are temple worthy.” To generalize to everyone in the church like that is to demand some kind of intolerance and segregation basically. I think the big fear is that some of you could fall in love with a non virgin, and then what? After all “What Would Jesus Do?”
Thank you! I’m glad.
Stephanie, I didn’t fill in “Website” because I am unfamilier with the term. I’m learning to use a computer at age 80 so hope to learn what it means later. Re: Virginity, It is not an issue for me but other shortcomings are. Once I was baptized I refused to discuss any of my past weaknesses with family members and other Church members who brought them up. If God has forgiven me and I have forgiven me why do I need to be reminded of past weaknesses? If I had committed a crime that would be different. I would have had to take the consequences. If an unmarried woman had a child she would have to discuss the circumstances with her intended. So there is no black and white rule here. Each person must take the matter to God in prayer and handle it as the circumstances dictate. Christians do have some flexibility. All my counselors have told me to forget the past and get on with my new life and I intend to do exactly that.
Good for you and thanks for sharing!