What it means to be working women

Written By: Stephanie - Apr•19•12

When I was Features Editor for The Campanil, I took used to post the pages I edited, designed, and/or wrote for on my wall. Here's what I had posted halfway through the semester. (Stephanie Scerra)

“Democratic operative Hilary Rosen set off a Twitter tempest yesterday when she said on CNN that Ann Romney has ‘actually never worked a day in her life,’ making her a poor adviser on women’s economic issues,” began a Newser article by Kevin Spak. (I couldn’t put it better myself.) Spak continues: “Ann Romney joined Twitter to respond, using her first tweet to say, ‘I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work.’”

Which brings us to some important questions: What is work, and what qualifies a person to advise on women and the economy?

Merriam-Webster defines work as “sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.” Such a description could easily apply to child-rearing. Efforts may include waking up at the wee hours of the morning to feed an infant, helping with homework in such a way so that her children still learn independence, enforcing rules to protect and instill values within her children, comforting her children when they have a bad day at school or get let down by a friend, sacrificing her own needs and pleasures to address those of her children, and, as a faithful Latter-day Saint, teaching her children to love and obey gospel principles. And these are but a glimmer of the potential tasks Ann Romney and other stay at home mothers may face all day, every day. The objective or result: to raise successful, responsible, respectful, and happy children. (more…)

Posted in Hot Topics, LDS (Mormon), Women | 2 Comments »

Ate It

Written By: Stephanie - Mar•28•12

Looking like a hipster in Ostrava, Czech Republic. (Courtesy of Rose Mardit)

I really need to start leaving the apartment on time. If I had, I may not have felt the need to shimmy past my fellow metro riders and toward the escalator, where I promptly clipped the tip of one of my leather boots and ate it. I mean fell. This wasn’t some dainty little trip accompanied by a squeaky “oops” and some grins from the crowd. This was an Oscar-worthy plummet from standing to lying awkwardly across three or more escalator steps. And it was loud in a passing gas sort of way — not actually loud but, for some reason, it seemed to echo and every head spiraled in the sound’s direction. Maybe I should lay off the croissants.

It was hard to gain composure with so many factors at play. I had two reactions to choose from — awkwardly laugh or cry — as the Czechs prepared to mount the escalator. I was just about ready to rip out the stupid brushy thing sandwiched between the metal walls and moving steps. (It was leaving a nasty black stripe down the side of my leg.) But then I realized I was wearing a dress and had probably flashed all of the hundred or so people standing behind me. I mentally scrolled through all the underwear I had brought with me to Prague and said a silent prayer that I was wearing one of the cuter pairs.

All the while, the Czechs were pretending not to have noticed my fall — quite a feat since I was taking up enough space to carry a pair of women and several rows of Prada luggage. When it became clear that I was not getting a hand up, I gave the railing a talon-like grip and pulled myself to my still wobbling feet. The awkward laugh I was talking about? It escaped my lips before I could even pretend to be cool. Ducking my head down and behind my arm Dracula style, I sprinted up the steps. These Czechs may have seen my undies, but they sure as heck weren’t going to see my face.

Posted in Travel | 2 Comments »

Eva

Written By: Stephanie - Mar•11•12

Eva and me the day after her baptism. (Stephanie Scerra)

The following is the brief talk I gave right before a wonderful woman got baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

Eva, your Heavenly Father loves you, and He is so proud of you for making the decision to get baptized today. And all of us here are so excited for you, because we know for ourselves what a blessing it is to be a member of God’s church.

As a fellow convert, I know what it took for you to be here today. I know how hard you worked to find the gospel and humble yourself enough to hear the Spirit testify of its truth. I wish I could tell you that your trials are over, but they’re not. You live in a country where more people identify as Jedi Knights than as Mormons, so being a Latter-day Saint isn’t going to be easy. But I promise it’ll be worth it. I testify unto you that as long as you try your hardest to keep the commandments, to do what your Father in Heaven wants you to do, you will never regret joining this church. You will always have the support of your fellow church members and of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. You will never, ever be alone. (more…)

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Amen Fashion

Written By: Stephanie - Mar•07•12

You know things are getting expensive when the store leaves a calculator in each room. (Stephanie Scerra)

Holding unpublished pages of April 2012′s issue of InStyle U.S. really makes you feel in the know. You’re aware of what’s fashionable before it’s even declared fashionable — at least, that’s what I tell myself. The tricky thing about fashion: it’s always changing, and until the fashion gods — also known as designers — birth their creations on the runway, no one has a clue what’s going on. And even afterwards, it takes the “experts” in the magazine industry to dictate whether or not you’re actually supposed to start wearing your sweatshirt around your waist like you did in the fifth grade — a la 3.1 Phillip Lim‘s model in New York Fashion Week.

Which is why I, the “expert,” went running down Pařížská, the Fifth Avenue of Prague, in search of looks to imitate InStyle U.S.’ annual color spread. All for you, women of the Czech Republic.

If I had to summarize Pařížská in one phrase, it would be this: Where money goes to die. There’s something spooky about walking into a store where you can hold a coat worth more than the cash in both your bank accounts. But there’s something sexy about it, too. If I wasn’t busting my suede Nine West boots to get the heck out of Old Town and to my other internship, I would’ve momentarily swapped those boots for a pair of salmon-colored pumps. I probably would’ve gotten truffles and a fresh cup of tea out of trying them on if I played my role as rich shopper well enough. (I’ve seen stuff like that go down at Pařížská 22 before.) But no, it was business time.

Walking in and out of boutiques, from Simple to Dolce & Gabbana, I felt like I was in a fairytale closet. Each hanger hung an inch apart. The clothing lining the walls was organized by color, pattern, and material. Each accessory sat on an illuminated platform, beckoning potential buyers near. If Monk were a fashionista, he’d totally approve.

But let’s be real: Some of it was ugly. (more…)

Posted in Style, Travel, Women | No Comments »

Thank God for Mormon missionaries

Written By: Stephanie - Mar•05•12

Me and four of the Mormon missionaries serving in the Prague Branch. (Stephanie Scerra)

“Hey, Stephanie. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing all right, Elder. And you?” I replied without much thought as I threw away dirty paper plates and silverware. It was Family Home Evening for the young single adults and we had just finished eating yet another delicious meal prepared by the senior missionary couple in the branch.

The young missionary shifted uncomfortably, looking to the floor as if he might find the words there.

“But about your testimony on Sunday,” he said finally. “Are you okay?”

“Elder, ask me direct questions. I’ll respond better,” I said as I emptied more things into the trash bin.

“Okay,” he half-chuckled and reminded me of a hardship I was going though that I had mentioned in my testimony yesterday. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

I looked up at him. He’s a 19-year-old boy, thousands of miles from home because he believes that preaching the gospel for two years is what Heavenly Father wants him to do. People slam their doors in his face as he tries to speak to them in broken Czech – not just to share the gospel, but to ask, “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you?”

And really, they do it all. They give blessings when you’re sick, pray for you when you’re nervous about a test, help you overcome addictions. Are they experts? No! They haven’t had the experience to know everything, nor do they pretend they do. Whether you are a member, want to be a member, or will never join the Church at all, the missionaries’ message is the same: We love you, and all we want is to make sure that you are happy.

So thank God for the missionaries. Thank God for the opportunity to be around bright, optimistic men (and women!) who want nothing but the best for you, nothing short of 100 percent of the time. Thank God for creating a pair of people in every ward who will, without fail, be looking out for you – as long as they are doing their best to fulfill their call. Thank God for Mormon missionaries, who don’t just invite you to get baptized, but ask you all sorts of things: if you’d like to play soccer with them on P-Day, if you need help with those home repairs, and how you’re actually doing – just to name a few. I have a testimony of Heavenly Father’s love for us, and it is strengthened every day because of our full-time missionaries.

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Virginity? Seriously?

Written By: Stephanie - Mar•04•12

“I’m scared,” she admitted, her eyes cast down on the table. “I want to obey the law, but then nonmembers won’t date me, and they make up the majority of men here in the Czech Republic. And even if I do, the fact that I haven’t in the past will make the members less likely to date me. How am I ever going to get married?”

This should not be the mind-set of a 21-year-old woman that’s going to be baptized in less than a week.

And yet it’s a legitimate concern. Just two days ago, ABC News published a story about a Mormon couple that was soon-to-be wed. When the woman told her fiance that she wasn’t a virgin (a bit late in the game, I admit), he called the wedding off.

Seriously?

Few have said it better than my friend did (by coincidence) just yesterday:

“For all you LDS MEN…ALL MEN in GENERAL!!! There is a great double standard going around. If you are not gonna marry someone because they are not a virgin, I have a few questions for you. First, are you a virgin? Second, what’s so great about blood? Do you believe in the blood of Jesus Christ and the Power of the Atonement?” he asked via Facebook. “If they are worthy, than they are PURE. VIRGINITY is a state of mind! The person you LOVE today, is that way because of the past. Enjoy the present and look forward to a wonderful eternity! Get over the past, GET OVER YOURSELF & MOVE ON! BE GRATEFUL YOU FOUND LOVE. Seriously.”

Within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a principle known as the law of chastity. We believe it is a commandment given by God to abstain from any sexual relations outside of a legal marriage between a man and a woman — everything from masturbation to sexual fantasies, intercourse to feeling each other up on the couch. The law is meant to protect those who abide by it from emotional and physical harm while bringing them closer to their Heavenly Father. The principle — as all of God’s commandments — is perfect. Its execution by us fallible humans? Not so perfect.

Which brings us back to our worried investigator. (more…)

Posted in Hot Topics, LDS (Mormon), Relationships, Travel, Women | 23 Comments »

Voda

Written By: Stephanie - Mar•04•12

At this teahouse in Prague, it took me half an hour before I was convinced that what I wanted to order was, in fact, herbal. (Rotem Herrmann)

“Voda, prosím?” I mumble into the menu with my nose dipped so close to the table that the waitress probably thought she caught me mid-prayer.

“Cože?” she asks with knit eyebrows and her pen poised ready above her notebook.

I repeat the simple phrase with more conviction this time. She chuckles and nods.

“Still or sparkling?” she continues in perfect English.

My plan to order lunch in Czech has failed again.

Each day, I strut out of my apartment determined to have a conversation in pure Czech. Yet the closest I’ve come to an exchange of “Dobrý den”s with the droopy-eyed security guards each morning. It’s as if my mouth is a dog whistle: Every time I open it, the word “Američanka!” sounds at some decibel only the Czech can here. That, or I sound like a four-year-old with a speech impediment. Both are likely. (more…)

Posted in Travel | 2 Comments »

Can’t let it sit

Written By: Stephanie - Feb•28•12

My ex-boyfriend and I...or, more accurately, our shoes. (Stephanie Scerra)

Confession: I can’t let any problem sit still. If a light bulb has burned out, if I haven’t unpacked my purse, if there are still unread emails in my inbox, I’m not going to sleep well at night – which is why it shouldn’t surprise me that my recent breakup didn’t follow the normal “let’s freak out, not talk for a year and then be friends” sort of formula. And yet I am surprised.

The first seven days (yes I counted) after I broke up with my then-boyfriend, I was a bit of a stalker. You know, a Facebook stalker. (Like you aren’t one….) Every time I’d log in, I’d go to his page hoping to find some sort of indication that he was struggling, only to get a long stream of after-party statuses and posts from other girls. Hurumph.

So I started posting on his wall like nothing happened, posting links to things I thought were funny or things I knew he’d like. No response. I was being ignored, and as much as my friends and family kept saying, “It’s normal, give it time,” I couldn’t let it sit.

Day seven, he responds to a post, so I send him a private message. “How are you?” I asked. I wanted to know.

“Pretty good, actually,” was his response, and my heart sank a little. I wanted him to be happy, just not so soon.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but I transformed into the Spanish Inquisition, asking him all the questions a girl in her right mind wouldn’t: Do you miss us? If you were unhappy, why didn’t you break up with me? Did you ever love me at all?

I dug my own grave, but he never pushed me in. In fact, he filled the hole in: I miss us a lot. I was too stubborn. I do and did love you. He stalked my profile, too, and he never responded to my posts because, hey, we all have a different way of healing.

We talked for about an hour. He told me about all the time he’d been spending with old friends, and I told him about my adventures in Prague. A short silence passed with a pair of awkward smiles on our faces before I asked, “Now what?”

It may sound silly, but we set up boundaries. Our separation, it wasn’t a mistake, so it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We can be friends, just not like before. We prepared to take it slow, “let the dust settle,” as he phrased it. By the time our conversation ended, I was smiling. I knew I’d sleep well that night.

Posted in Relationships | 2 Comments »

Let’s see the facts

Written By: Stephanie - Feb•27•12

Two missionary name tags (Courtesy of Creative Commons).

A 19-year-old boy of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints strolls into the Missionary Training Center of Provo, UT. He’s preparing to serve a two-year mission, during which he will dedicate every second of his time, from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m., to preaching the gospel to one small section of the world. He’s sacrificing time which could be spent with his family and friends, in school or at a job, to share a religious message for a straight 730 days.

As he takes a seat in one of the classrooms, the visiting General Authority begins his talk by discussing a passage from the Book of Mormon during which Christ visits the Americas.

“Jesus came to the Americas!?!” shouts the soon-to-be-missionary with a look of disbelief.

Oh dear….

On Thursday, Jan. 12th, the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life released an infographic displaying the results of a survey conducted on Mormons in the United States. Half of the infographic discussed politics – almost assuredly because of the media attention surrounding Mormons due to Mitt Romney‘s run for president – while the other half focused on how Mormons’ beliefs compare to the general public. While many could argue over which piece of information gathered in the poll is the most revolutionary, I find that the story lies in why so many of the questions in the Religious Beliefs and Practices section did not garner 100 percent votes. Is whether the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints a Christian Church a matter of opinion? Or a matter of fact?

Check out the infograph below. And after that, let’s see the facts. (more…)

Posted in LDS (Mormon) | 2 Comments »

Let’s start over

Written By: Stephanie - Feb•27•12

Studying scriptures with a friend at the Freiburg Germany Temple. (Courtesy of Sister Curtis of the Czech/Slovak Mission)

“It is estimated that 30-40 percent of baptized members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) worldwide are not currently active in the faith,” said an anonymous web user on WikiAnswers. Since the respondent left no sources and cannot form a grammatically-correct sentence, this percentage is far from a statistic. But there is a fact hidden behind the imaginary numbers: A lot of missionary work involves reactivation.

Reactivation is LDS jargon for helping someone who no longer attends church functions, like Sunday services, come back and participate. When thinking of why members may become inactive, I like to refer to Jesus’ parable of the sower:

And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow; And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: Some fell upon astony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. And some fell among athorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: But other fell into good ground, and abrought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold. (Matthew 13:3-8) (more…)

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